Corporate Peon: BSE


Wednesday, July 21, 2004

BSE

For all you uninformed plebians out there, that stands for breast self exam. Or, as I like to call them, the most uncomfortable part of a doctor's visit. I mean, a pelvic exam is bad enough - you're wearing a paper gown (not as much fun as it sounds, Pup), a strange man or woman is in between your legs, you're thinking 'Should I have shaved?' and "God, that's cold.'

The one saving grace is that you can't make eye contact with Doc! S/he's down there, doing their thing, and if they're a good doc, they're talking to you about the weather or telling you crappy jokes or doing anything to take your mind of the fact that they're looking, and feeling, and smelling something that isn't usually (okay, always) offered up to strangers.

But, breast exams. Lie back, this time in a paper gown that's actually more of a paper shirt. That opens. All the way. Down the front. And again, a stranger is feeling you up. And the nurse sits back and watches. And the doctor is right above you! Eye contact is virtually unavoidable!

Now, I have no problem making eye contact with someone touching my breasteses. But it's always (okay, usually) in a much less sterile environment. And there's generally not someone watching in the background. It's a very awkward thing to put yourself out there, so to speak, and look in the eyes of someone who is touching you privately, but professionally. Or so you hope.

Sure, there are stories out there about doctors who seduce their patients, and patients who seduce their doctors. I mean, half of the partnership is already naked, and the doc has liberty to oogle and touch - how much easier does it get?

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I'm just glad that breast exams aren't an everyday occurrence. At least, not with a doctor. ;)


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