It's a Mixed Bag
I haven't forgiven. And I won't forget. But I'm trying to get past that. I feel I'm taking a chance by blogging here again, but...it's a chance I have to take. I think I'm reasonably confident that no such breach will occur again - the Offender (and others) know the penalty.-----
I've spent a lot of time with BBB lately. He's still dead sexy, but the pull isn't there like it used to be. We've been spending a bit of time entertaining two Irish men from our subsidiary company who are in town for training. The guys are great - fun, likeable, nice guys, and our age, so it's been easy to have deeper (or not, depending on the mood) conversations.
During the time I've spent with all the boys, it's become evident that BBB and I have led extremely different lives: as a white woman, I feel cops are - as a general class - good. As a black man, he's not so certain. Growing up in a two-parent middle-class home, I know education, health care, privileges, etc as easily obtained. I'm not trying to say that's the norm, but it's what I know as the norm. Growing up in a single-parent low-income family, he doesn't know that as 'normal' experiences. Is he wrong? Am I?
He doesn't shy away from these conversations, which is great - especially when comparing the UK to America - and I would never tell him his opinion is wrong, but it's sometimes awkward to realize that what I've experienced and believe to be true is not someone else's reality.
Valuable, but still uncomfortable.
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I received a phone call tonight from a recruiter who saw my resume. She has positions available in Ohio if I'd like to move. Uh, no. I did, however, just speak to a different recruiter who has contract and permanent positions available that we both think I'd be good at. The contract position is for barely less than I'm making now, but with almost as good a company. The permanent positions are for decently more than I currently make but are not with well-known companies. From what she said, the contract position is as good as mine if I want it.
I also have a phone interview next week with a different company.
I'm getting frightened. I didn't think I'd actually have to make this decision. And while I don't have to now, I may have to soon, and I'm already stressing about it.
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I'm having out-of-state visitors next weekend and I'm already stressing about that, too. Will we all fit in here? What will we do? Where I know how to get to places? Will they be too scrunched in my car? Will I have enough of the right food/drinks/towels/bedding? Will my place be clean enough?
I've been told that they don't or won't care. I've been told that they're coming to see me and don't care if we sit and eat and drink the entire time. I'm just not sure I fully believe that.
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