Corporate Peon: Answers? You Want Answers?

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Answers? You Want Answers?

I got your answers right here, beyotch!

Julie: My only question is: can I have some of the truffles? Or the peanut butter fudge?

Julie, I won't give you any of the truffles, cuz I thought they were nasty. In fact, the only person who liked them was BIL, and he's not exactly discriminating. But, the fudge was good - and SIMPLE! I'll email you the recipe if you want.

Gooch: Who are your top 3 BILF's (Bloggers I'd Like to Fuck)?

Hmm...Goocharoo...good question. Being limited to only 3 is tough! I will say LiAps , cuz I know what one of his favorite pastimes is, which sounds grammatically incorrect...Inanna, cuz, well, that's just self-explanatory - the girl is smokin! And Pup, cuz all that furry beary goodness has got to feel good.

LiAps: If you were stranded on a desert island, and could only bring three things, which was your favorite Becky on Roseanne?

This one's obvious - the original Becky. Not the one who came in halfway through a season and was annoying and then went on to star in Scrubs. Nope, original Becky all the way. Nice misdirection try, btw. :)

Inanna: do ya love me, yeah, yeah, yeah, do ya love me, yeah, yeah, yeah???

Um...see the answer to Gooch's question. That should put your mind at ease. ;)

Peeved Michelle: Q: Do you know where I can score some good girl-on-girl porn?

I wish I did, PM, I wish I did.

PM: Q: What is it exactly that you do for a living?

My official title is Project Manager, and my usual answer to your question is that I manage projects. Basically, I act as liasion between 'systems' folks - i.e., developers, and 'business' folks - i.e., the clients. I manage teams consisting of both groups of people to make sure all requirements, deadlines, questions, and details are understood, agreed upon, and met, by both groups.

Trouble Maker Mikey: Isn't BILF the best new term you've heard in a while?

Actually, it is. I laughed outloud when I first read it.

Mikey: And did you notice that backwards it spells FLIB?

I hadn't noticed it, although I am a fan of anagrams, things that spell the same thing backwards as they do forwards. Like...'too far edna, we wander afoot.'

Mikey: I don't know what that means, but it sounds good, no?

It does sound good. We could always make up a meaning for it.

Mikey: Where can I score some good KtP on Girl porn? Or FLIB porn?

Unfortunately for us both, Mikey, there is no KtP on Girl porn out there, be it good OR bad. As for FLIB porn, well...I can't give all my secrets away!

Mikey: Will you send me an audioblog of you saying "PEON! PEON! PEON!"?

HA! If I could figure it out, I would...

Aimee: Earliest memory. Happiest memory. most embarrassing moment.

Earliest memory...I do remember sitting on a table, bawling, b/c I had spilled salt all over - and I mean alllllll over me and the table.

Happiest memory...Every Christmas Eve, I would sleep with my sister in her double bed. We would talk and giggle and try to peek on our parents and trace letters and words on each other's backs and try to guess them. We would wear our footy pajamas with the zipper all the way down. Those were good times. :)

Most embarrassing...hehe. During the freshman-only orientation When I was a freshman in college, I walked out of my dorm with some new friends. Feeling good, I jumped onto the ledge/bench to walk on it, much like a little kid walks on every surface that lies inches above the ground. Except...this ledge was about 4 feet above the ground on one side, and a few inches above ground on the other side. And instead of walking on the ledge to the stairs, and taking them down, I...tripped. And flipped. And landed on my back in the bushes. Yeah, not my finest moment. :)

Vicki: How much could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? What would you do with $100,000 if you won it?

A woodchuck would chuck just as much wood as a wood chuck would chuck under normal wood chucking circumstances. :)

Hmm...$100k...I would buy a 'new' used car. And I would probably squirrel the rest away while I decided what else to do with the money. There would be some plane fare purchases, and some shoe purchases, and some charity donations, but I'd probably sit on the bulk of the money.

Tinyhands: Wanna ride bikes?

I would LOVE to ride bikes! I haven't been on a bike in ages. Got one I can borrow?

Joanne: Did you make those truffles yourself and if so what's the recipe?

I did make the truffles myself. If you still want the recipe, after my note to Julie above, just holler via email.

Ian: Why?

Ian, I gave this some serious thought, and my answer is, 'Why not?' Seriously. Whenever I'm debating making a purchase, or doing something, if I am thinking reasons for the 'why,' then I'll think of reasons for 'why not.' One of the two usually tip the scales.

Seven: Do you happen to have a belt to match those blue suede sneakers you prolly have secreted away in your closet?

Seven, you sneaky bastard...I will not confess to owning the belt OR the sneakers! And stay out of my closet!

Pup: Places/trips you will go/visit next year. Top 3 hottest guys, and top 3 hottest gals on your list.What would you do locked in a closet with Pup for 10 minutes?

Hmm...I may go to Turkey & Italy with my Sis & BIL. I may go to Vegas and/or Aruba. I will definitely go to North Dakota, to endure my 10yr high school reunion and see my friend's baby. And it turns out there's a chance I'll be in Manhattan in Q1 2005.

Hottest guys, ever? I like Bruce Willis. Woody Harrelson. The Rock. I like Lindsay Lohan, Britney, and...yer mama.

If I were locked in a closet with Pup for 10 minutes, the first thing I would do is try to figure out how the closet locks. I mean, none of my closets lock, so wtf? Then, I would try to find out how Pup got in the closet in the first place. Last I heard, stuffed bears - even drunk stuffed bears - don't have opposable thumbs, so how'd he open the door? After that, I'd try to figure out how to unlock the door. Stuffed or not, bears can be scary.

Seth: If you had one wish, what would it be?

I would wish for an infinite supply of wishes. Duh.

Or if you were an animal, which would it be? I would be armadillo.

And can I have a taste of your chocolate salty balls? Or the white chocolate chip bars?

Uh...there were no chocolate salty balls up for tasting! Ditto for the white chocolate chip bars! You taste it, you buy it!

Jamie: Hey, does this mean you'll be around MY town???

Hehe. I don't know if this was meant to be a 'real' question, but here goes. None of us actually live near you anymore. We all moved from there in '92. Sister has been back once or twice, but not for years; Mom & Dad have both been back a handful of times. I'm the only one who hasn't returned, though I really really want to.

Thanks for playing, folks!

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