Corporate Peon: I'm Confused

Friday, February 04, 2005

I'm Confused

I've stopped doing something lately that I think has hurt me. Well, it hasn't been lately, exactly, it's been about 2 months. And it started (the stopping) unintentionally but then became deliberate.

And I thought I was fine without it, but I'm getting glimpses of myself that make me realize that might not be true. I hate that. I really really really want to be okay with out it, and I hate that I feel I'm realizing that I can't be.

But then I think that I'm only human, and humans fuck up, and maybe these glimpses of myself just are me being human and have nothing to do with needing something I'm depriving myself of.

I don't really believe that. But I want to.

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