Corporate Peon: Cue the Weekend

Friday, July 01, 2005

Cue the Weekend

Left work early today; came home and snoozed in between episodes of 'Pimp My Ride.' They would so make my car dope, yo. They would, like, shizzle up my hoopty and make it ghetto fabulous, bizatch.

So, after lounging around Casa Peon for a couple hours, being lazy, I decided to get off my duff and run some errands. You know - Bed, Bath, & Beyond, even though they never label the 'beyond' section clearly; Home Depot, so I can wander around and not be helped or greeted by anyone, and the grocery store.

Being the smart little shopper that I am, the grocery store - the local Dominicks, if you really care - was my last stop of the day, and I knew exactly what I was going to get.

If you're open to it, you can learn valuable lessons in the mundane of life. For instance, today I learned that you can get a good vibe on people by looking at what they're buying. You can figure out some of their plans, whether they have kids, pets, or live alone. You can't be obvious about staring at their goodies, but if you're good - like moi - you can surreptitiously scope the snacks.

I took a look at what the woman in front of me was buying. She had a couple bags of Doritos (Nacho Cheese), a bottle of margarita mix, a big bottle of soda (I'm thinking, mixer), a bag of cherries...yep, she was obviously having a small summer soiree. Junk food, liquor, and yummy fruit - my kinda lady.

The guy in the lane to my left had beer and nothing but. None of this Bud shit they serve down south, either - Miller Lite all the way. Ohhhh, yeah. My kinda man.

And then I looked at what I was purchasing. This wasn't a heavy duty grocery trip; I was just picking up a few things for the weekend. Essentials. Necessities, you might say.

Pepperoni pizza. Frosted sugar cookies. Beer. Batteries.

I'd tell you that the batteries are for a portable CD player, but you wouldn't believe me anyway.

Have a good weekend, kids!

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