Corporate Peon: Proverbial Light at the End

Thursday, January 06, 2005

Proverbial Light at the End

I'm proud of myself - last night at the bar, I refused the urge to buy a pack of smokes and light 'em up.

Today, however, I did get steamed enough at a fucking asshole to bum a smoke and enjoy that outside. But still, that makes maybe one pack of smokes in the past 5 weeks - definitely progress. And he really is a fucking asshole.

I'm coming out of my dark spell. It just hits now and again, for varying lengths of time. That's part of the reason why I have a hard time letting people get close - I get so fucking moody at times and difficult to deal with. That's one of the reasons I'll always be fond of my ex - he was instrumental in getting me to deal with my mental failings, and never passed judgement, shame or blame on me for them.

That, my friends, is key. Now, how do I go about not passing judgement, shame or blame on myself?

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