Corporate Peon: Dear _____,

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Dear _____,

I've been angry with you for some time now. I don't know quite what is driving that; I don't feel it's necessarily justified, and that only makes me angry with myself.

I'm sorry I didn't have much to say this weekend. There's just nothing that important, new, or note-worthy going on with me right now. I'm content enough, I just have nothing new to share. And I know your feelings on being content - to you, that's not good enough. Well, to me, that's often the best I can wish for. I don't want to rock the boat, reaching for happiness that I feel I won't ever get.

You said you needed two days to unwind, detox, do laundry, etc etc. You never said anything about the BBQ you hosted on Day 2 of your 'unwinding.' It wasn't that I wasn't invited; that I didn't care about, and you knew I wouldn't have come. It was that you chose it over me/us/them, and that didn't seem fair. It was hard enough to get you to agree to seeing us this weekend anyway, and then you cut it short - professing a need for R & R - when really you spent it with them. Maybe that is your R & R; maybe we're just work for you.

I don't find it fair. I know it's not easy to be with us; I know I don't help with that. It's not because I don't want to, it's because I seemingly can't.

And now, to find the same old excuses when it comes to getting together this month. I just find it so disparaging, so...well, rude of you. And hurtful.

You know I love you. And I know we're not always easy. But I need you to make an effort.

I wish I could send this to you.

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