Corporate Peon: She Said I Could Have Two Wives

Sunday, June 19, 2005

She Said I Could Have Two Wives

I met the Lane family Saturday night. That's right. La familia de Lois, or some such. It was quite the time.

First - and Lois, you knew I had to do it - were the directions. There were phrases used such as "maybe First Street-ish," and "turn left at the t-intersection. It's unmarked, but might be Fisher Street." "Don't turn at the alley - turn at the first side street. It's unmarked. Don't turn too early or you'll drive into a house."

I was a bit...nervous, shall we say, of ever finding my way there. But I did with no problems at all!

Now, the family...if you've seen any of Lois's pictures on her Flickr account, you'll know that Mr. Lane is a certified hottie. There's a picture up of him in Lane 2's room that made me wanna go lick it. Despite being cute with his spiky 'graying' hair, he's also a very nice guy. Sense of humor, manners, and he seems to really like his wife. Go figger.

Lane 1 is adorable. Kind of looks like a young Frankie Munoz, but blonder. He's a smartass like Momma, and helpful and cheerful. Of course, this could be partly due to the fact that he's not 13 until next week, but...we won't worry Lois about that, will we? :)

Lane 2 looks like her momma. Actually, both kids do, and they're lucky to have such good genes. We all know that Lois herself is smokin', and Grandpa Lane is a looker, too. Grandma Lane, also, was a knockout. Stupid fucking kids with their good genes.

Ahem. Lane 2. Right. She's extremely friendly and outgoing - which surprised me, cuz when I was 10, the last thing I wanted to do was hug - let alone talk to - a stranger. Both kids are far too smart for their own good - some of the comments they made were so right-on for the situation, I was stunned.

There was Guido, of course, the really really sad, really really old white cat who talks. (Sure he does.) He's scrawny and drooly and I loved him immediately.

The Lane Abode was very homey and welcoming. I saw no evidence of 'dirt so thick you could plant flowers in it,' and I was impressed that Lois is so open as to allow her son to have a naked wood burning picture of herself in his room. Rock on, sister.

We had dinner at a nice Italian place, Aldo's, where we were all treated like royalty by Aldo himself. I do believe he even flirted with me - dirty old man! Who am I kidding, I loved it. Mr. Lane got a little fresh with me himself as we shared tiramisu. Give that man a couple beers and he'll eat anything, wink wink.

Lois shared some of her work with me, including an incredible children's story that NEEDS to be illustrated and thrown upon the masses. She has quite the impressive portfolio, and some of her pictures were just amazing. That includes ones from the roadtrip (baby goats! doggy-style prairie dogs! Sad little Baby Johnston!) as well as ones from her photo-for-hire days.

I had a great time. I felt like one of the family and was completely comfortable. I just wish they didn't live so far away, but once that road construction is out, Lane family! Lois, I hope you had a GREAT birthday. Thanks for inviting me to join the celebration.

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