Corporate Peon: Dear _____,

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Dear _____,

I'm not sure how to break it to you. I've tried the avoidance route with absolutely no luck. I don't know if you didn't get the message or if you 'didn't get' the message, but either way, you're pissing me off.

In a pure stroke of coincidence, I was out of the country the day of your baby shower. You won't remember, but I simply declined the invite and didn't offer any reason why.

Since then, I've ignored all of your emails. Well, that's not true. I may have responded to one during a fit of sensitivity. (Don't worry, I quickly banished that.) Are you even aware that I haven't responded to your emails, or do you just populate so many email boxes with your crap that you don't even notice if anyone responds?

I don't need 31 pictures of your 6.5 month old baby. I didn't need 30+ pictures of her when she was six months old, either. Maybe if I felt we were friends - correction, maybe if I wanted to feel like we were friends - I would make an effort to care. But I've long ago cut the cord and I'm much better for it.

I don't have to endure time together where you bemoan the fact that your hubby and I are no longer friends (your fault - remember your jealousy fits?). I don't have to hear you bitch about or fight with him (you married him, shut the fuck up). I don't have to hear you gossip about everyone (everyone you used to be friends with, that is). And I don't have to deal with him being a jackass towards you, me, and his friends who you cock block me with (don't even deny it).

So, with all due respect, please take me off your distribution list.

No hard feelings, mmkay?

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