Corporate Peon: Peer Pressure

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Peer Pressure

A coworker I know fairly well asked me today if I was dating anyone. When I replied in the negative, she said "Kate-yyyyyyyyy! Katey, Katey," shaking her head all the while.

"Am I supposed to be seeing someone?" I asked. Yes, she replied.

So, in the nature of defending my pitiful social life, I lied and said I had been seeing someone at the beginning of the year. The truth is that I got laid then, not that I was seeing someone.

But her...insistence, or disappointment, almost made me feel badly for myself.

Which is completely stupid. She's in her 40s, married with 3 kids. NOT what I want. And yet, I could tell she felt almost sorry for me (maybe not sorry for me, but badly for me, if I can reuse that word. Which I can, because this is my blog.)

And that's the whole problem I have with personal ads. It admits that I would like to be dating someone, that I would like someone in my life. It admits that I haven't found anyone on my own and that I need help in doing so.

I hate that, all of that. It's hard enough to admit it to myself, let alone to the public. To do that, in addition to the rejection's almost humiliating.

This isn't about finding 'the one,' or anything like that. It's about dealing with a need and not being able to resolve that on my own. It's about going public with something lacking. It's about facing fears. Finding 'the one' is incidental.

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