Corporate Peon: You Got a Fast Car?

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

You Got a Fast Car?

Yesterday, on my way home from work, the two lanes north I was in were backed up for a good way. The two lanes south were not. So one fucker in my lane - in a minivan - decided to pull out of the lane. And drive north in the south-bound lanes - to pass about 15 of the cars ahead of it. Which meant, should any car decide to head south, there would have been a collision. So the cars heading north had to stop and let this asshole back in the lane s/he voluntarily left.
There I am, driving to work today. The main road is under serious construction so I've found a little bypass. It spits you out at a light where your only options are to turn right or left. I always turn right and I never turn on a red light since there are little signs up telling me "No turn on red."

The sign apparently applies to everyone but jackasses in blue minivans. As I approached the light today, no one was in front of me. The light was yellow. Not turning yellow, but already yellow. So I rather uncharacteristically stop rather than punching it through.

The jackass in the minivan moved from behind me to the left turn lane. He then turned AHEAD of me, right, against the light.

What a fucking jackass. I really hoped that he would get hit. Except that it would make me late for my meeting.
Then, as I pulled into the parking lot, I put my blinker on (another uncharacteristic move) and turned down an aisle. I was going to take the only open spot in the near vacinity when - you fucker! - some idiot from the aisle next to me pulled alllllllll the way through, thereby blocking my spot. She saw me. Her passenger saw me. They didn't back up. So I threw my hands up in disgust and drove around the aisle, where I pulled up behind them. The passenger gave me kind of a smirk, which I returned with my death stare. Fuckers.

To borrow a line from Pup, what the fuck is wrong with you people?? I feel guilty for wishing DEATH on this fuckups who decided that the traffic rules weren't meant for them, but they deserve some sort of punishment. I may not signal all the time and I may speed, but when it comes to passing and staying in my lane and basically not causing death to myself or others, I follow those rules.

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