Corporate Peon

Friday, March 25, 2005

It's easy to be benevolent when you have want you want.

Back when I was seeing Ex...or him...or him...I went to them a lot. With Ex, he came to see me twice - and once was because he had a work conference downtown. Otherwise, I always went to see him. CA, CO, it didn't matter. I spent more on my ticket to CA than I did on my ticket to Dublin. But the money didn't matter - it was never about the money, and it was never more than what it was worth to me to spend time with him.

When I was seeing him, he came to my place once. Okay, twice, but one of those times was just to pick me up. Otherwise, I always went to his place. Two or three times a week, for three months. 40 minutes away.

Part of me never wants you to come to me. Part of me is uncomfortable with the idea that you'll make that kind of effort or sacrifice, be it money or time. Part of me would rather not have to play hostess or clean. Part of me is afraid of what it means if you do that for me. For me.

But...couldn't you at least offer?

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