Corporate Peon: How to Piss a Peon Off

Monday, April 25, 2005

How to Piss a Peon Off

Give a Peon shitty directions so she drives around for an HOUR AND A FREAKING HALF. Only do this when there's someplace she really really wants to go and has been really looking forward to it and she gets to work early so she can leave early to make it there in time. Make sure Peon stops twice for directions that don't help one single fucking iota.

Half-assedly read the recipe so that Peon heats up oil in a pan and then adds COOKING SHERRY. Do not tell Peon to think it through first or to stand back or to turn on the goddamn fan.

Unscrew the knob on the cabinet that holds the oil so that it will come off in Peon's hand.

Send Peon the first magazine in a gift subscription to a cooking magazine that Momma Peon signed Peon up for. Inclose a bill.

Make sure that Peon has only TWO alcoholic drinks in the house. Make sure she has bottles and bottles of mixes but no alcohol to mix with them.

Make sure that all the driving around will ensure Peon gets home too late to reasonably start laundry.

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