Corporate Peon: I Want My MTV!

Friday, February 24, 2006

I Want My MTV!

Back in my youth, living out in the boondocks as I did, I waited anxiously for the day when my family would finally - FINALLY! - get cable. Once we finally! got it, I wiled away many hours in front of MTV. MTV - music television. From Janet's beach video to Chris Isaak's beach video, MTV used to play all the good (beach) videos. Sure, sometimes the videos sucked while the song rocked (I always liked that Michael Jackson song with Naomi Campbell in the video...but couldn't stand the video) and sometimes the videos rocked while the songs sucked (Anthony Kiedis in glittery lipstick, anyone?), but did it ever really matter? It was MTV. MTV, man.

Then MTV made the shift between music videos and crappy tv shows. Sure, there was 'The Real World,' but they started out strong and then had a few crappy years in the middle before picking it up again, full-steam, only recently. Then there was 'Road Rules Challenge,' but that gave, like, one decent season before crapping out. I began to to lament the fact that MTV had moved away from music videos and thrown a bunch of crappy new shows at us.

Which is why it's so strange that my new favorite show is on MTV. Forget 'Next,' though that still gives me hours of pleasure. Forget 'Date My Mom,' which amuses me more than it should. Forget 'MADE,' 'True Life,' 'Wild 'N Out,' 'Meet the Barkers,' or even 'Room Raiders.' Not because these shows don't provide hours of entertainment, for they do, in varying degrees (anyone see the 'DMM' episode where the gay man asked the mom if her son would allow a pearl necklace? She actually thought he was talking jewelry...). But all of these shows pale in comparison to the new motherload:

'Parental Control' rocks. The parents get to publicly disown their child's boy/girlfriend. They get to interview prospective dates. And the child has to go out with two people - one chosen by the dad, one by the mom. After the dates, the kid has to come back and choose one - the current bf/gf, or one of the dates.

I would be so freaking afraid to have my mother choose any date for me. Her pick would be ultra-Christian. Non-smoker, non-drinker, non-cusser, and would want kids. Bunches of kids. Bushels of kids. He would want his kids to have kids as long as they did it in the name of the lord. He would not be cute or hip in any sense of the words.

Dad's pick would be better; someone who likes to travel, who could talk news or computers or pop culture, such as dad knows it. Someone in the business world. Someone liberal. Definitely a geek, but then that's not necessarily a negative. Basically, someone like dad.

And I don't know if that thought scares me more than mom's prospects do.

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